Meeting with Khalifa #3

Today, I met with Khalifa for the third time. Since he enjoyed the meal so much last time, we decided to meet at McAlister’s again. Once we found a seat (it was packed like always) and got settled down, we started discussing how everything was going since we last met. He is still planning on moving to California after the semester but is having trouble getting permission from the school that he wants to attend there (Riverside). His sister and cousin are having the same problem.

He is still extremely concerned with his speaking and gets frustrated when he makes mistakes or can’t figure out how to put a thought into words. I assured him that his speaking has gotten even better (which it really has) since the last time we met, which he was happy to hear. It really is crazy seeing the progress that he has made between our meetings. However, even though speaking is going well, he is still quite frustrated with writing.

After some casual conversation about how our lives have been going, we stumbled upon what I found to be the most interesting part of our conversation. He mentioned that he had recently read that TCU was only 20% international students and asked me if the percentage was really that low. Honestly, I felt that 20% was higher than the actual percentage. He mentioned that at other schools such as UTA there is a much greater population of international students. He asked why TCU’s percentage is so low and honestly I didn’t have an answer. I really had never even given the topic much of a thought and felt rather naive for not doing so.

From there, the conversation got even more interesting. Khalifa began telling me all of the things he loved about Texas. He told a story about how when he first got here and could speak virtually no English, he went to the grocery store. Even though one of the employees couldn’t understand anything he was saying, they used body language and hand signals and eventually, the employee helped Khalifa find exactly what he needed. It was this kind of attention, which I assured him, was good old “southern hospitality” that really left a lasting impression on Khalifa. In the weeks leading up to Khalifa leaving for Texas, all anyone would say to him was “why Texas?!” everyone is racist and mean and they hate us. His cousin added to these fears by filling him in on how poorly he was treated while studying in Europe. He told Khalifa, “if Europe was that bad, imagine how bad Texas is going to be.” Needless to say, Khalifa was nervous when he arrived in Texas. He was bracing himself for the treatment that all of his friends from Saudi Arabia made sound imminent. Luckily, that treatment never came. From his first true encounter with Americans at the grocery store until now, Khalifa has been extremely impressed by how kind and understanding people have been here. He has hardly heard anything racist while he has been here. He assured me that when he gets back to Saudi Arabia, he will be sure to let everyone know how wrong they are about Texas and recommend it to anyone wanting to visit America. This part of our conversation touched me more than anything that we have talked about so far. Living in Texas for 18 years of my life, I couldn’t help but feel an enormous sense of pride. It was such a good feeling hearing about the hospitality that the south is known for in action.

There is one question that I’ve been pondering as a result of this conversation and I wanted to pose it to anyone who might have an opinion; is the language barrier purely based upon a person’s inability to speak the same language as those around him? Is it really as big of a deal as we make it out to be? Or with all of the nonverbal communication that humans use on a regular basis, as long as we are willing to put in effort, is the language barrier as small as we are willing to make it? 

McAlister's Adventure (Second Meeting with Khalifa)

I’ve had this blog entry sitting in word for over a week and completely forgot to post it. Sorry for the delay! My second meeting with Khalifa was on Monday October 1. We were supposed to meet at 6 at McAlister’s but he lost his keys so he wasn’t able to arrive until around 6:45. He was so apologetic and really felt awful for making me wait. I reassured him that it wasn’t a big deal and that I used the extra time to do a little bit of homework. Plus, I lose my keys at least twice a month so I assured him that it happens to everyone.

Once we got to McAlister’s I realized that he had absolutely no idea how or what to order. I felt really stupid for just assuming that he knew the menu and, the situation was made even more awkward because I forgot that because of his religion, he can’t eat anything that comes from a pig. This ruled out bacon and sausage which are seriously a part of over 50% of the items on the menu. Luckily, he loves potatoes so I told him that the grilled chicken spud would probably be a good choice. Being a stupid uneducated American, I proceeded to order a bacon spud without making the connection that I had just ordered something that was against his religion to eat. However, it was his time to reassure me, just because it’s against his religion doesn’t mean that I can’t eat it. I then made the connection that on Fridays during Lent when I can’t eat meat, my friends regularly order burgers and I’m not offended. So that’s how I justified it to myself and Khalifa agreed.

He loves our food and ever since he got here he has had a strong desire to try bacon and sausage because they look and smell so good. Up to this point, he has fought the urge valiantly. However, he did have an incident his first week here that we both found hilarious. He went out with some family members to a restaurant off of Hulen and ordered a dish that the server recommended. Halfway through his meal, he asked the server what the delicious meat was because he didn’t think he had ever tasted it before. “Oh that’s sausage,” the waiter replied. Khalifa’s jaw practically hit the table and so did his sister’s. Obviously, he was disappointed in himself but the meat was so delicious that he figured hey I already broke the rules why not at least finish my dish. But his sister was absolutely appalled and wouldn’t let him take another bite. And this is how Khalifa was accidentally introduced to sausage and he will never forget the experience. We both laughed hysterically throughout most of the story, which from my perspective was reassuring because we’ve all eaten foods we’re not supposed to eat before and it was an honest mistake, I didn’t want him to beat himself up over it. The whole ordering and no pig fiasco surely displayed the immense cultural differences between us but the fact that we were able to work through it and still enjoy our meal was a very cool experience. Plus, he loved his potato and said he would definitely come back to McAlister’s sometime soon so that made me feel like I accomplished something.

Once the conversation got a little more serious, he told me that he is adjusting well. He loves our food, especially the really spicy Mexican food because it’s somewhat similar to the food from Saudi Arabia. He has gotten even better at speaking and is approaching becoming a level 5. However, writing is still a major problem and he is still stuck on level 1. He talked in length about his frustrations with learning how to write and how he just can’t comprehend how everything is written so much differently than it sounds. He also brought up how he learns so much just from communicating with native English speakers. But, practicing speaking with native English speakers also adds to the difficulties of writing because a lot of the stuff we say is slang and shouldn't be used while writing. This started out as a very odd concept to him but he has gotten used to it.

Probably the saddest part of our conversation was when he stated that he might be moving to California. He admitted that it was a gorgeous state and that he would love to go there but his main reason for the move is because they have a better writing program for ESL students than we do. Apparently, we have an extremely good speaking program but we are really lacking when it comes to the writing aspects. His goal might be to move as soon as the end of this semester. My advice was “Hey, I don’t blame you. See as much of America as you can before you have to go back. California is gorgeous. You’ll love it.” I’m anxious to see at our next meeting if any major decisions regarding the move have been made.

He invited me to play soccer with him and some of his family after we ate dinner but regretfully I had a group meeting that I had to go to and wasn’t able to join them. Hopefully next time I’ll have the chance. During our next conversation, I hope to talk about cultural differences a lot more and hopefully this time they won’t be awkwardly thrust upon us as soon as we walk into a restaurant!