Final Meeting with Khalifa

Today I had my last meeting with Khalifa. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before but Khalifa takes being late to a whole new level. And by that I mean if we agree to meet at 7 and if he arrives by 7:30 I’m impressed. This time I waited almost an hour (not my longest wait of the semester) but I used the time to get some homework done and he showed up so I was happy. His cousin Abdul sat down and talked with us for a little bit which was neat because I had met him briefly before but we had never really gotten the chance to talk.

Also, since it was our last meeting, Khalifa insisted on buying me something to eat. I told him thanks but that I would buy my own but he was adamant. It was McDonald’s so I didn’t feel too guilty but still only let him buy me fries. It was definitely a kind gesture and showed respect that seems much more common in Saudi Arabian culture than it is in America. I would always try to open doors for him when we were going places but he would never let me. He always insisted on me going in first. In America, we would just take it as a kind gesture and walk right in but it seems like they have certain unspoken rules when it comes to that kind of stuff.

This was the first time that we had met at McDonald’s and for some reason Khalifa seemed much more comfortable in the environment. Soon this began to make sense as he professed his love for American fast food. He said that he goes to McDonald’s for lunch multiple times a week and even had a table at the campus McDonald’s that he usually sits at. He then began to list all of the fast food restaurants that he loves here and trust me, the list was plentiful. As funny as it may sound, this was one of the topics that we were most able to relate to each other with. He thought it was really funny that my first job was at McDonald’s and said that he couldn’t picture me behind the counter. He asked me if customers were mean to me and he thoroughly enjoyed the stories that ensued. He told me that he knows fast food is bad for you but it tastes so good and it’s cheap. He was kind of surprised by how supportive I was of his fast food addiction as his sister always tries to get him to stop eating eat. I will never be one to judge people for eating too much fast food. While I worked at McDonald’s I always got stuck in back drive-through and would regularly sneak burgers, fries, and milkshakes back there. And during my senior year (thankfully I was no longer working at McDonald’s) it got to the point where I would pick up fast food before work pretty much every day. Luckily, at that time I was running cross country or the results would have been disastrous.

The last fast food restaurant that he listed was In N Out and he said it was by far one of his favorites. Since he’s moving to California in a matter of days, I asked him if he was going to go to the original. His eyes lit up. He had no idea that the original was in California but was very excited to go and would be willing to drive hours just to go there once. When I told him that when In N Out came to Texas a bunch of my friends and I drove an hour to get there and then waited another two hours to get our food, I expected him to respond that I was crazy. But he said he would do the same!

The more I thought about us connecting through fast food, the more sense it made to me. When you think about American’s going to foreign countries what is the one place that they always see and are comfortable ordering food at? McDonald’s. Not only was fast food a way for Khalifa and I to connect, I feel like it has become a way for the rest of the world to connect with America and vice versa.

Finally, Khalifa brought up Juha one more time and said that he was wondering if the editor who translated the stories from Arabic to English made any mistakes. When I said that I didn’t notice a single one throughout the book, he was amazed. With all of the difficulties he has experienced in translating things from Arabic to English, he definitely admired Salma Khadra Jayyusi.

After this we got up and got ready to leave. Khalifa made a few jokes about crying as we said goodbye. Clearly, guys from all cultures across the world enjoy joking about feelings. When we got outside I thanked Khalifa for his time and told him that I really enjoyed getting to know him over the course of the semester. Since he’s moving to California in two days, there really won’t be any more chances for us to meet up and see how each other are doing but I told him not to hesitate to text me if he ever needed help with anything.

I have truly enjoyed my time with Khalifa over the semester and it has definitely given me a different perspective on Saudi Arabia and their culture. With all of the faces we see on TV and the negative publicity that the region receives, it’s easy to associate the behaviors of a few with the entire region. Especially since 9/11, I feel that it would be fairly accurate that almost 100% of Americans at least believe at least one stereotype toward people of the Middle East or at least have some reservations toward people of the region whether these feelings are vocalized or remain internal. Honestly, before I met Khalifa and even after our first meeting or two, I was definitely one of those people. But, getting to meet Khalifa, and hear stories about his homeland, and just being able to associate a friendly face with the region has really made a difference for me and has truly been an eye opener. Hopefully, I was able to provide the same type of experience for Khalifa and he will be able to go back to Saudi Arabia and tell people that America is nothing like what they think it is.

7th Meeting with Khalifa

On Thursday, I met with Khalifa for the seventh time. After lots of unnecessary work, phones calls, and trips, he has finally been given permission to move to California. He will move to California on December 7^th so he only has a little over a week to pack. He was hoping that I had been to California before so that I could give him some advice but sadly I haven’t. His brother went to school in California 6 years ago and loved it. I assured him that nobody I have met from California has had anything but nice things to say about the state. He’s also excited to get back to the beach. In Saudi Arabia he can look out his back door and see the ocean so being stuck in the middle of Texas left him quite beach deprived.

He had a writing test today and thought he did pretty well. He wrote over 250 words so he was pretty confident that he would get a good grade. The writing test was the last test that he will ever have to take in Texas. He asked in detail about my presentations and finals since he’s going to be going through the same situations a year from now. He’s really looking forward to beginning college but is scared of the work load. As an ESL student, his homework is basically just to communicate with Americans and learn the language and culture. He can’t imagine having to spend more than a few hours in the library doing homework. But, he knows that he needs to get good grades, get his degree, and get back home and there is tons of family pressuring him to do so as fast as possible.

We went back to talking a little bit about our Thanksgiving breaks and I was talking about being at home for the week. Khalifa asked how often I went home, and I told him at least once every month. Since I live an hour away from campus, I can really go home whenever I want. Khalifa, hasn’t been home in a year. He arrived in Texas last December and hasn’t been home since. I can only imagine how homesick I would be if I was in his situation but it doesn’t seem to bother him too much. He admits that he misses his family but said he is here getting his education and having fun and that he doesn’t really have a desire to go home yet. Once he moves to California next week, Khalifa and his sister will get settled and then head back to Saudi Arabia for the break. He hasn’t even told his mom that he’s coming home yet because he wants to surprise her. He’s much more anxious for California than he is for his trip back to Saudi Arabia. Either way, he will get to look out his back door and see something that I have never been able to; the beach. 

6th Meeting with Khalifa

On Wednesday, I met with Khalifa for the sixth time. The first thing we talked about was Black Friday. He went out with his friends and was shocked by how crazy everything was. He had never seen anything in America that was that chaotic. However, once he saw the prices of the items he said he completely understood. And then, he watched as his sister proceeded to buy tons of stuff. He enjoyed getting to experience the atmosphere but didn’t really need anything, so he bought a few shirts. He really enjoys getting to experience the eccentricities of American culture.

Next, we talked about his trip to Washington DC. He went alone because he had to get registered to move to California. While there, he saw and met so many Saudi Arabian students  that he concluded he could never learn English in DC because he would never have to practice the language. He told me some stories about DC, about how gorgeous it was, and about getting to see the White House. I have always wanted to visit DC but I have never had the chance so I was extremely jealous.

He also told me a story about his taxi getting into an accident. Khalifa and his taxi driver were driving by the White House and the driver was pointing things out and explaining certain aspects of the White House. While he was doing so, another taxi was trying to speed around them and ended up rear ending them. I imagined how annoyed and flustered the second taxi driver must have been and thought this story was rather hilarious. However, Khalifa was much more concerned about everyone’s safety and was just glad that nobody was injured. Throughout our meetings, Khalifa really hasn’t found any instances of physical humor funny. At one of our meetings, we watched somebody walk into a glass door. I was cracking up. He felt really bad for the person and wanted to make sure that they were ok. Clearly, there are vast cultural differences regarding our opinions of physical humor. America has embraced movies such as Jack Ass. But, based on my meetings with Khalifa, I doubt Saudi Arabia will ever embrace anything similar.

I also brought Tales of Juha to show Khalifa. I handed him the book and asked if he recognized it. At first, he didn’t seem to recognize it and I was beginning to feel extremely stupid. Then, a huge smile began to form and I could tell that it clicked. He didn’t recognize Juha at first because he had never seen the name written in English. He was so pleasantly surprised. Finally, we had an element of his culture that we could both talk about. He was absolutely shocked that Tales of Juha was a book that we were reading in class. Basically, he described Juha as a celebrity. He’s not as popular as he once was but if you walk up to anyone in Saudi Arabia and show them the book, they will immediately know who you are talking. I asked him about why there are so many stories about Juha involving his donkey. First, he made clear that donkeys are not as common in Saudi Arabia as Tales of Juha may make it seem. But, he told me that there are two versions of stories about Juha, stories with him and his donkey and stories with him and his family. Khalifa said that he thinks the stories with the donkey are much funnier. He also finds the wit and wisdom stories funnier than the ones where Juha is stupid. We spent the rest of our dinner talking about the book. I mentioned some of my favorite stories. Some of them he recognized and some of them he did not but it was nice to finally have a subject to talk about where he was the expert.