Final Meeting with Khalifa

Today I had my last meeting with Khalifa. I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before but Khalifa takes being late to a whole new level. And by that I mean if we agree to meet at 7 and if he arrives by 7:30 I’m impressed. This time I waited almost an hour (not my longest wait of the semester) but I used the time to get some homework done and he showed up so I was happy. His cousin Abdul sat down and talked with us for a little bit which was neat because I had met him briefly before but we had never really gotten the chance to talk.

Also, since it was our last meeting, Khalifa insisted on buying me something to eat. I told him thanks but that I would buy my own but he was adamant. It was McDonald’s so I didn’t feel too guilty but still only let him buy me fries. It was definitely a kind gesture and showed respect that seems much more common in Saudi Arabian culture than it is in America. I would always try to open doors for him when we were going places but he would never let me. He always insisted on me going in first. In America, we would just take it as a kind gesture and walk right in but it seems like they have certain unspoken rules when it comes to that kind of stuff.

This was the first time that we had met at McDonald’s and for some reason Khalifa seemed much more comfortable in the environment. Soon this began to make sense as he professed his love for American fast food. He said that he goes to McDonald’s for lunch multiple times a week and even had a table at the campus McDonald’s that he usually sits at. He then began to list all of the fast food restaurants that he loves here and trust me, the list was plentiful. As funny as it may sound, this was one of the topics that we were most able to relate to each other with. He thought it was really funny that my first job was at McDonald’s and said that he couldn’t picture me behind the counter. He asked me if customers were mean to me and he thoroughly enjoyed the stories that ensued. He told me that he knows fast food is bad for you but it tastes so good and it’s cheap. He was kind of surprised by how supportive I was of his fast food addiction as his sister always tries to get him to stop eating eat. I will never be one to judge people for eating too much fast food. While I worked at McDonald’s I always got stuck in back drive-through and would regularly sneak burgers, fries, and milkshakes back there. And during my senior year (thankfully I was no longer working at McDonald’s) it got to the point where I would pick up fast food before work pretty much every day. Luckily, at that time I was running cross country or the results would have been disastrous.

The last fast food restaurant that he listed was In N Out and he said it was by far one of his favorites. Since he’s moving to California in a matter of days, I asked him if he was going to go to the original. His eyes lit up. He had no idea that the original was in California but was very excited to go and would be willing to drive hours just to go there once. When I told him that when In N Out came to Texas a bunch of my friends and I drove an hour to get there and then waited another two hours to get our food, I expected him to respond that I was crazy. But he said he would do the same!

The more I thought about us connecting through fast food, the more sense it made to me. When you think about American’s going to foreign countries what is the one place that they always see and are comfortable ordering food at? McDonald’s. Not only was fast food a way for Khalifa and I to connect, I feel like it has become a way for the rest of the world to connect with America and vice versa.

Finally, Khalifa brought up Juha one more time and said that he was wondering if the editor who translated the stories from Arabic to English made any mistakes. When I said that I didn’t notice a single one throughout the book, he was amazed. With all of the difficulties he has experienced in translating things from Arabic to English, he definitely admired Salma Khadra Jayyusi.

After this we got up and got ready to leave. Khalifa made a few jokes about crying as we said goodbye. Clearly, guys from all cultures across the world enjoy joking about feelings. When we got outside I thanked Khalifa for his time and told him that I really enjoyed getting to know him over the course of the semester. Since he’s moving to California in two days, there really won’t be any more chances for us to meet up and see how each other are doing but I told him not to hesitate to text me if he ever needed help with anything.

I have truly enjoyed my time with Khalifa over the semester and it has definitely given me a different perspective on Saudi Arabia and their culture. With all of the faces we see on TV and the negative publicity that the region receives, it’s easy to associate the behaviors of a few with the entire region. Especially since 9/11, I feel that it would be fairly accurate that almost 100% of Americans at least believe at least one stereotype toward people of the Middle East or at least have some reservations toward people of the region whether these feelings are vocalized or remain internal. Honestly, before I met Khalifa and even after our first meeting or two, I was definitely one of those people. But, getting to meet Khalifa, and hear stories about his homeland, and just being able to associate a friendly face with the region has really made a difference for me and has truly been an eye opener. Hopefully, I was able to provide the same type of experience for Khalifa and he will be able to go back to Saudi Arabia and tell people that America is nothing like what they think it is.

7th Meeting with Khalifa

On Thursday, I met with Khalifa for the seventh time. After lots of unnecessary work, phones calls, and trips, he has finally been given permission to move to California. He will move to California on December 7^th so he only has a little over a week to pack. He was hoping that I had been to California before so that I could give him some advice but sadly I haven’t. His brother went to school in California 6 years ago and loved it. I assured him that nobody I have met from California has had anything but nice things to say about the state. He’s also excited to get back to the beach. In Saudi Arabia he can look out his back door and see the ocean so being stuck in the middle of Texas left him quite beach deprived.

He had a writing test today and thought he did pretty well. He wrote over 250 words so he was pretty confident that he would get a good grade. The writing test was the last test that he will ever have to take in Texas. He asked in detail about my presentations and finals since he’s going to be going through the same situations a year from now. He’s really looking forward to beginning college but is scared of the work load. As an ESL student, his homework is basically just to communicate with Americans and learn the language and culture. He can’t imagine having to spend more than a few hours in the library doing homework. But, he knows that he needs to get good grades, get his degree, and get back home and there is tons of family pressuring him to do so as fast as possible.

We went back to talking a little bit about our Thanksgiving breaks and I was talking about being at home for the week. Khalifa asked how often I went home, and I told him at least once every month. Since I live an hour away from campus, I can really go home whenever I want. Khalifa, hasn’t been home in a year. He arrived in Texas last December and hasn’t been home since. I can only imagine how homesick I would be if I was in his situation but it doesn’t seem to bother him too much. He admits that he misses his family but said he is here getting his education and having fun and that he doesn’t really have a desire to go home yet. Once he moves to California next week, Khalifa and his sister will get settled and then head back to Saudi Arabia for the break. He hasn’t even told his mom that he’s coming home yet because he wants to surprise her. He’s much more anxious for California than he is for his trip back to Saudi Arabia. Either way, he will get to look out his back door and see something that I have never been able to; the beach. 

6th Meeting with Khalifa

On Wednesday, I met with Khalifa for the sixth time. The first thing we talked about was Black Friday. He went out with his friends and was shocked by how crazy everything was. He had never seen anything in America that was that chaotic. However, once he saw the prices of the items he said he completely understood. And then, he watched as his sister proceeded to buy tons of stuff. He enjoyed getting to experience the atmosphere but didn’t really need anything, so he bought a few shirts. He really enjoys getting to experience the eccentricities of American culture.

Next, we talked about his trip to Washington DC. He went alone because he had to get registered to move to California. While there, he saw and met so many Saudi Arabian students  that he concluded he could never learn English in DC because he would never have to practice the language. He told me some stories about DC, about how gorgeous it was, and about getting to see the White House. I have always wanted to visit DC but I have never had the chance so I was extremely jealous.

He also told me a story about his taxi getting into an accident. Khalifa and his taxi driver were driving by the White House and the driver was pointing things out and explaining certain aspects of the White House. While he was doing so, another taxi was trying to speed around them and ended up rear ending them. I imagined how annoyed and flustered the second taxi driver must have been and thought this story was rather hilarious. However, Khalifa was much more concerned about everyone’s safety and was just glad that nobody was injured. Throughout our meetings, Khalifa really hasn’t found any instances of physical humor funny. At one of our meetings, we watched somebody walk into a glass door. I was cracking up. He felt really bad for the person and wanted to make sure that they were ok. Clearly, there are vast cultural differences regarding our opinions of physical humor. America has embraced movies such as Jack Ass. But, based on my meetings with Khalifa, I doubt Saudi Arabia will ever embrace anything similar.

I also brought Tales of Juha to show Khalifa. I handed him the book and asked if he recognized it. At first, he didn’t seem to recognize it and I was beginning to feel extremely stupid. Then, a huge smile began to form and I could tell that it clicked. He didn’t recognize Juha at first because he had never seen the name written in English. He was so pleasantly surprised. Finally, we had an element of his culture that we could both talk about. He was absolutely shocked that Tales of Juha was a book that we were reading in class. Basically, he described Juha as a celebrity. He’s not as popular as he once was but if you walk up to anyone in Saudi Arabia and show them the book, they will immediately know who you are talking. I asked him about why there are so many stories about Juha involving his donkey. First, he made clear that donkeys are not as common in Saudi Arabia as Tales of Juha may make it seem. But, he told me that there are two versions of stories about Juha, stories with him and his donkey and stories with him and his family. Khalifa said that he thinks the stories with the donkey are much funnier. He also finds the wit and wisdom stories funnier than the ones where Juha is stupid. We spent the rest of our dinner talking about the book. I mentioned some of my favorite stories. Some of them he recognized and some of them he did not but it was nice to finally have a subject to talk about where he was the expert.

Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain

I have enjoyed everything that I’ve read by Mark Twain whether it be essays, short stories, or novels. Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn were pure genius and I loved reading them.  As a result, I was really looking forward to this anthology of Twain quotes. I began searching through the pages and highlighting the passages that really resonated with me for one reason or another. I figured that I would probably highlight around 10 and easily be able to narrow it down to 5 for our assignment. Yah, I ended up highlighting 30+. Twain’s wit and wisdom covered such a broad range of topics and really gave me a feel for who he was as a person. We all know that Twain was a brilliant satirist, full of wit and wisdom, and we have all heard stories about him being a cranky drunk. But, this anthology proved that he was much deeper than that. One of the things that I like most about Twain is his bluntness. I am amazed at how he can say in one sentence what other writers wouldn’t be able to say in less than three pages.

The two passages in the Wit category helped me better understand what Wit actually is. I had used the term frequently throughout the class to describe the kind of humor I liked and to describe works such as Tales of Juha and parts of 50 Funniest American Writers. However, if you had told me to define wit, or put it on a vocab quiz, I probably wouldn’t have been able to define it. Twain states that, “Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.” While I completely agree with this passage, I believe that it is the second passage that really sets Twain’s wit apart from others. “Wit, by itself, is of little account. It becomes of moment only when grounded on wisdom.” It is the necessity to have both wit and wisdom that makes Twain so great. Oftentimes, I consider things like good comebacks witty just because they’re spur of the moment and flow without time for contemplation. While most of Twain’s one-liners, if not all, were spur of the moment, it is clear that he always had a great understanding of his subject matter and there was always substance behind his reasoning.

I have only had the chance to read a few of Twain’s essay but some of the excerpts in this anthology reminded of just how genius he was. His social commentary was always spot on and looking back over 100 years, many of the things he criticized are still issues that we struggle with today. In 1895, he wrote that “no civilization can be perfect until exact equality between man and woman is included.” I find it amazing that he wrote something over 115 years ago that has now become such a prevalent issue in our society. After reading some of the more offensive and degrading stories about women in Tales of Juha, I’m sure this quote was quite a welcomed shift for most  of the class.

Tales of Juha Part III

Up until part three of Tales of Juha I found all of the humor quite relatable and surprisingly, I really wasn’t getting caught up in any cultural barriers. For some reason, I felt as though cultural barriers were present in much of the third section. This section was full of stories about donkeys, corrupt judges who openly take bribes, and tyrannical leaders. Not exactly the easiest topics to relate to. That’s not to say that none of the stories were funny or enjoyable, but I found a majority of them much harder to relate to everyday American life than the stories in the previous two sections.

I don’t think the presence of cultural barriers makes the stories any less entertaining, in fact, I found myself more actively reading because I was constantly trying to figure out what was going on and relate it to my everyday life. However, the cultural barriers did keep a majority of the stories from being truly funny. Not many of these stories resonated with me at all and I just wasn’t able to relate with them. This inability to relate is what I believe kept me from finding many of these stories the belly laugh type of funny that was present in the first two sections. If anything, many of these stories were a “haha I have a feeling that was supposed to be funny but have no idea what you mean but I’m going to laugh anyways so that I don’t feel awkward/courtesy laugh” kind of way. One of the sections that I had particularly high hopes for and that I was quite disappointed by was “Boastfulness and False Pride.” I was imagining what an American version of this section might include and since America is full of boastfulness and false pride, the possibilities were endless.  Not to ridicule these stories, I found most of them at least entertaining, but the section was definitely not filled to the brim with belly laughs like I was expecting. Maybe this was because Arabic culture isn’t consumed by false pride and boastfulness like American culture is? Since my conversation partner is from Saudi Arabia, this is definitely something I intend to ask him about in one of our meetings this week.

The one story that I did find extremely funny and relatable in the False Pride section was the one where Juha’s friend told him he was going to interrupt him with a nice “ahem” every time that he caught him exaggerating. I found this story relatable because I have a good friend who everyone knows is a huge exaggerator. After we all got to know him well, a few of us in the group began calling him out every time that we caught him exaggerating. It got to the point where he couldn’t get through the first few sentences of a story without getting interrupted. I also found the story where Juha’s friend interjects with the true story before Juha can even begin exaggerating funny and relatable for many of the same reasons.

In many of the blogs so far and in class, people have associated relatable with funny and I couldn’t agree more. Tales of Juha has really made me think about relatability in regards to humor.  I had never really thought of the correlation before, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that being relatable is a requirement for something to be funny. We find comedians funny who discuss things that we can relate to, we find crazy pet videos funny because we all either have pets or know people who do and we can relate to these situations, and we find America’s Funniest Home Videos funny because we have all had things like that happen to us or they are realistic enough that we could see them happening to us.

This is why humor rarely transcends cultural boundaries. Cultures are so different that it is nearly impossible for people from different cultures to be able to relate to each other and their daily activities. Because of such extreme cultural differences, it is shocking that Tales of Juha is able to transcend cultural boundaries (at least for the first two sections) as well as it does. 

Tales of Juha Part 2

Well, not surprisingly chapters 2 and 3 went along much like the first. I was left admiring Juha’s quick witted comebacks even though in these sections they were increasingly harsh and critical. Once again, all of the stories were extremely relatable, giving them a much more personal feel. As expected, I generally loved all of the short 3-4 liners such as the one on page 45 about his wife’s lack of brains. Next, came probably the two most relatable pieces in the novel so far. The first is on page 46 and is the one about relationship baggage and how at night there’s 4 people in the couple’s bed, the husband, the wife, the husband’s late wife, and the wife’s late husband. Now, the deceased part is hopefully well beyond our years, but who can’t relate to past relationship baggage ruining a current relationship? Everyone has experienced it in one way or another. While thinking about this story, I came to realization that I think this is what makes Juha such a relatable and enjoyable character at least in my perspective. Juha has been in virtually every situation you can think of, the good, the bad, the awkward, and the terrible. I think that this is his most endearing characteristic because it allows everyone, regardless of their background, to find something about Juha that they can relate to.

On to the next story which is on page 48. This is probably the piece that I have most agreed with and been able to relate to so far. It is the one about the father and the son and their donkey. When the father is riding the donkey and the son is walking people think the father is being rude to the son. When the son is on the donkey and the father is walking people think the son is being rude to the father. When they both ride the donkey people think they are treating the donkey poorly. When they both walk, people think they are stupid for not riding the donkey. And finally, when the two decide to carry the donkey, people think they are being imbeciles. Obviously, the moral of the story is that you can never please anyone which is very applicable to everyday life and an internal conflict that many of us face daily.

Another story that I really enjoyed was the one where Juha sold his entire house besides one nail. I felt that this story was a particularly good example of Juha embodying the trickster figure. Also, it gave me a good belly-laugh.

Next, came chapter 4, which for me, provided quite the cognitive shift. Admittedly, I skipped the title page for the chapter so I was not expecting for the stories to shift from Juha being all knowing and full of wit to naïve and stupid. Even though it’s a completely different kind of humor, self-depreciating on the part of Juha if you will, I still thoroughly enjoyed this section. My favorites were the ones about the pigeons flying out of his hands, his wife asking for the matches on his left, the miscounting of the donkeys, and the proclamation that his daughter was six months pregnant. I feel like it is due to the precedent set in previous chapters that these stories include cognitive shifts. Throughout the first three chapters, Juha is the wittiest character I have ever read about and seems to 99% of the time get the upper hand. Obviously, that trend does not continue in chapter four but for some reason, time after time I expected that it would hence the continual cognitive shifts.  I can't think of the word, but in this section, he clearly encompasses the  naive and lacking-in-common-sense character who is generally the brunt of most comedies. No offense to Juha, but in chapter 4 he slowly but surely began to remind me of current figures in pop culture who have made a living off of being mind-numbingly stupid (Snooki to be specific).

Tales of Juha Part 1

When I looked at the assignment sheet and saw that Tales of Juha was next and that we would be reading basically the entire book, I thought to myself “come on. WE just got done with Hokum which I thought was going to be hilarious but wasn’t and now we’re reading Arab Folk Humor?! There’s no way that this is going to be funny or even enjoyable.”

Low and behold, finally something truly humorous! And full of endless cognitive shifts! I expected Tales of Juha to be similar to Hokum but that is far from the case. The first section of Tales of Juha far exceeded my expectations. I love dry and witty humor so I was entertained throughout the entire section. And it wasn’t just entertaining, it was enjoyable. Not every story/joke ended with a chuckle, even though many of them did, but there was not a single story that had me bored while there were a few that had me cracking up. I find it very interesting that I didn’t find African American humor to be very funny but that so far I have found Arab Folk Humor hilarious. I figured that the differences in culture would be much more prevalent in the Arab Folk Humor and would prevent me from enjoying the stories.

However, even though Arab culture was prevalent throughout the first section, it was very relatable. As they said in the introduction, “there are certain comic personalities that cross the boundaries with ease and weave their way into a different culture. I think Juha is one such personality.” While reading this in the introduction, I was extremely skeptical. I found it hard to believe that you could translate Arab folk humor for different cultures and have Juha still be a comic character. Clearly, I was wrong.

I find the fact that it was possible for Juha to weave his way into our culture and still be a comic personality. I’m sure Juha is an even funnier character to Arabs but the fact that he is funny to us also really amazes me. It was also very interesting that although there were many aspects of Arab culture in the Tales of Juha, they didn’t prevent people who aren’t familiar with the culture from enjoying the stories. Even though donkeys were mentioned in the stories numerous times and I’ve never owned a donkey, I still found the stories quite humorous. Also, a few of the stories discussed having multiple wives which has never been a part of American culture (to my knowledge) and I was still able to find the stories funny.

I don’t want to say that the stories were dumbed down because that would be inaccurate but there was definitely a sense of universal understanding present in Tales of Juha that wasn’t present in any of our previous novels. Even in 50 Funniest American Writers, some of the stories were way over my head. I think it is a true testament to the genius of Juha that people are able to find the character funny across very different cultures and I don’t think I’ve ever had a chance to examine a character who has been so successful at this. Usually, when people try to translate things that were successful in other cultures into American culture, the movie, novel, song or whatever it may be flops.

 I also feel that it is a testament to the changing times of American culture that a book of Arab Folk Humor is even published let alone widely read. People might and still do (just as I did) have their own individual prejudices, but as a whole, I feel like at least on the outside, America has become much more accepting of other cultures. Like I said, I was very skeptical at first, but I am now truly amazed that “the humor [of Juha] transcends national and cultural boundaries to achieve a university that is instantly recognizable and accessible today.”

5th Meeting with Khalifa

Yesterday, I met with Khalifa for the fifth time. We again met for dinner. Our conversation started out very casual as usual. We talked about our weeks and he was amazed by the amount of tests and papers that I have due next week. He’s still working on getting his move to California approved and is getting more excited by the day. His cousin went to school in California and has told him amazing things. However, he’s also feeling a lot of pressure from his family to finish school and get back to Saudi Arabia because they need his help. His education is taking a lot longer than it took his brother so some of the family is getting rather impatient. From what I could tell, it seemed as though family pressure in Saudi Arabia is even more prevalent than in the US.

Next, the election came up and I’m sure he could immediately tell that it was something that I didn’t want to talk about. However, we did have a brief discussion about a few of his observations. He had seen that heat map and was amazed that a large portion of the map was red with the occasional blue pocket yet Obama had 51% of the vote. I know the middle of the US is spread out a lot more than the east and west coasts but it still amazes me how the small amount of blue on that map makes up over half of the American population. I really had no explanation or way to explain it but told him that he will experience first-hand the mass population of certain areas of the US when he moves to California.

Once our conversation began winding down, he shocked me and once again started to open up about his life back home. It started when he offered me a cigarette and I politely declined. This apparently reminded him of a time when his brother caught him smoking and trashed the rest of the pack. Having done this numerous times to my younger brother, I was very familiar with the situation. He said that since his brother is 14 years older than him, his brother has pretty much been a father figure to him throughout his life. His brother is one the main people pressuring Khalifa to get his education and get good grades in America as quickly as possible so that he can get back to Saudi Arabia. Apparently, Khalifa was admittedly quite the trouble maker in his grade school days back in Saudi Arabia. He started skipping class in third grade, hated school, did very minimal homework, and really had no interest in learning. However, with lots of encouragement from his family, he has really started to turn his education around. He’s making huge progress in the IEP program and is actually looking forward to his next educational adventure. He also revealed that his brother went to school in California and said amazing things about it which is one of the reasons that he is so excited to move there. He wants to follow in his brothers footsteps by moving to California and getting good grades and really impressing his family. I have to say, his dedication to his family was pretty impressive. You could tell, that his family is very close knit and that they always look out for each other. In the me first society we live in today, I feel like America is slowly losing the close knit family environment and it was refreshing to hear that this isn’t the case across the world (even though oftentimes we think that only thing that effect America matter). I’m excited to meet with Khalifa again and to hopefully learn more about his family where he came from. After 5 meetings, he’s really opened up and our meetings continue to get increasingly personal and interesting.

The Lesson and Dark Prophecy

The beginning of “The Lesson” made me laugh more than any story in Hokum has so far. Obviously, as the story progressed toward the lesson provided at the end, it got less and less funny and more and more serious. But, I found the first couple pages leading up to them entering the store pretty funny. I don’t know if it was just me, but until they entered the store and were getting weird looks, I wasn’t giving much consideration to the fact that the kids in the story were African American. Maybe this is why I found the beginning so funny, since I wasn’t considering race or any of the racial undertones, and was strictly focusing on the content at face value, I wasn’t confronted with the issue of African Americans being treated unfairly. Until they entered the store, I was just picturing a group of kids rebelling against authority and having a good time making fun of each other and beating each other up and I thought it was quite humorous. I think this confirms what I’ve thought about a large portion of the stories in Hokum; if you ignore the time period and the racial differences and forget the races of the characters and just read the stories naively and at face value, some of these stories really are funny. However, knowing how poorly and unjustly African Americans were treated, and understanding and analyzing the racial undertones, it is clear that nobody with any sense of heart would find these stories funny at least in the ha ha belly laugh sense of the word. Some of them might draw periodic laughter through incongruities, quick witted jokes, or the occasional name calling but overall, none of these stories have provided belly laughs. Almost every story ends with either an implied or spoken commentary on society just like “The Lesson” did and there is nothing funny about these commentaries. An African American child pondering how American can be considered a democracy when their family was never given a chance is not funny. At all. To me, these stories have been more eye opening than funny.

Before, I mentioned that none of the stories that we have read so far in Hokum have really provoked a belly laugh. Well, that was until I read “Dark Prophecy: I Sing of Shine.” From about the 7^th line on, I laughed hysterically all the way through this poem. Some people might see it as a little or extremely obscene but I thought it was extremely funny. It was so blunt and straightforward and the exact opposite of what I was expecting. Basically nothing we have read so far has the African American winning and I believe that this is another reason why it was so funny. It is never funny or enjoyable seeing a bully win. But everyone loves the underdog. If Shine had taken any of the white peoples’ propositions, I believe that the poem would no longer be funny. One of the reasons it stayed funny throughout was because Shine kept winning and turning down the white people in the most blunt and humorous of ways. By the end of the poem, once I finished laughing, I wanted to stand up and cheer for Shine. You’re left with a sense that justice was served for the first time in any of these stories. There are definitely racial undertones rich white people definitely take the brunt of every joke but deservedly so. Nobody ever gave Shine a reason to want to save them. They offer him money among other things but if he stays and saves them, he will die and the money will be worthless. The setting is on the Titanic, the gaudiest ship of them all, where greed ran rampant and likely for the first time in their lives, money wasn’t going to save them. I feel like we don’t feel sorry for the white people because there is an overwhelming feeling that they deserved it. It was about time Shine or any other African American for that matter caught a break. If this was a white person ignoring the pleas for help of African Americans, this story wouldn’t be funny because that happened every day. That was what was expected during these times. However, the cognitive shift of the African American finally winning and reaching safety makes this by far the funniest and most uplifting story we have read in Hokum.

Khalifa #4

On Thursday, I met with Khalifa for the fourth time. This time we met at Red Cactus. Food in Saudi Arabia is extremely spicy so Mexican food has been some of his favorite food while in America. First, we discussed Halloween. On Halloween night, he went downtown and was not impressed by the turnout. I assured him that this was just because it was a Wednesday and that downtown the previous weekend was full of people celebrating Halloween and that I was sure people would be doing the same this coming weekend. Needless to say, Halloween had not impressed him thus far. But, he did seem to think it was a really cool concept. ?They have a holiday moderately similar to Halloween in Saudi Arabia where everyone celebrates and decorates their cars green and white, the colors of their flag. So instead of dressing up themselves, they just dress up their cars.

There was a TV on in the restaurant that was talking about the election so we began to talk about politics and the upcoming election. He knew a lot more about the election than I expected which I think speaks to the fact that campaigning has become such a big part of the election process that you can’t get away from it. He was very impressed by Obama’s public speaking abilities and also knew Obama by name but only knew Romney as “that other one that starts with an R.” I jokingly assured him that not knowing Romney’s name is ok because all people in Texas need to know is that his name isn’t Obama and he gets the vote. It turns out that this was something that he was very curious about to begin with. His exact question was “why do people in Texas hate Obama so much?” I have always found talking politics with people to be rather awkward, especially with people that I don’t know very well (which is likely why I initially took to humor, as an attempt to ease the awkwardness of the conversation). For the first time, I think I felt more awkward during our conversation than he did. It was very hard for me to explain why certain states as a whole associate with certain morals and ideals especially because the two states he was specifically asking about were Texas and California (where he is moving second semester). I basically explained that when it comes to politics Texas and California are polar opposites. Texas is about as conservative as you can get while California is about a liberal as you can get. I apologized for not having a better answer and thought that he would change the subject but he kept asking more questions. He said he doesn’t really know why but he is convinced that Obama will win the election by a large margin. Immediately after stating this, he asked me who I was voting for. Once again, extremely awkward. I was also shocked with how forward his questions were because usually he asks questions very carefully; trying his best to not say anything that might offend me or that might not make sense.

Thankfully, he switched the topic off of party politics and stated the one thing that he has encountered in America so far that he hates; see the homeless not taken care off. He feels that it is something that our government needs to fix. He says that his government pays for you until you find a job but once you have a job they don’t pay you anymore. I told him that our government also gives out unemployment checks for a certain amount of time after you lose your job but he felt that this approach wasn’t good enough. He said that this is America, people should be here living the American dream, we’re the most powerful country in the world; there is no reason for us to leave our own people homeless. His thought process was definitely very interesting and thought provoking and it was also rather shocking because I figured that Saudi Arabia would have a much greater number of homeless people than the US.

Somehow, we then got onto the topic of his difficulties with math and PowerPoint. He has found that in America, you just learn to get better grades and then forget it all because you’re never going to need it for your job. It’s sad to admit but I feel like this is a mindset that most American’s, including myself, have fallen into. In our results based society, all you need is results and it doesn’t matter how you get there. Cramming for tests is a weekly occurrence and regardless of if we end up getting an A or a B, if you gave us the same test a week later without warning, I guarantee a majority of people wouldn’t do better than a C. It’s really interesting how a fresh perspective can give such accurate criticisms on our society. Not that he doesn’t love it here, he does. But some of his points of view have been extremely thought provoking. 

Meeting with Khalifa #3

Today, I met with Khalifa for the third time. Since he enjoyed the meal so much last time, we decided to meet at McAlister’s again. Once we found a seat (it was packed like always) and got settled down, we started discussing how everything was going since we last met. He is still planning on moving to California after the semester but is having trouble getting permission from the school that he wants to attend there (Riverside). His sister and cousin are having the same problem.

He is still extremely concerned with his speaking and gets frustrated when he makes mistakes or can’t figure out how to put a thought into words. I assured him that his speaking has gotten even better (which it really has) since the last time we met, which he was happy to hear. It really is crazy seeing the progress that he has made between our meetings. However, even though speaking is going well, he is still quite frustrated with writing.

After some casual conversation about how our lives have been going, we stumbled upon what I found to be the most interesting part of our conversation. He mentioned that he had recently read that TCU was only 20% international students and asked me if the percentage was really that low. Honestly, I felt that 20% was higher than the actual percentage. He mentioned that at other schools such as UTA there is a much greater population of international students. He asked why TCU’s percentage is so low and honestly I didn’t have an answer. I really had never even given the topic much of a thought and felt rather naive for not doing so.

From there, the conversation got even more interesting. Khalifa began telling me all of the things he loved about Texas. He told a story about how when he first got here and could speak virtually no English, he went to the grocery store. Even though one of the employees couldn’t understand anything he was saying, they used body language and hand signals and eventually, the employee helped Khalifa find exactly what he needed. It was this kind of attention, which I assured him, was good old “southern hospitality” that really left a lasting impression on Khalifa. In the weeks leading up to Khalifa leaving for Texas, all anyone would say to him was “why Texas?!” everyone is racist and mean and they hate us. His cousin added to these fears by filling him in on how poorly he was treated while studying in Europe. He told Khalifa, “if Europe was that bad, imagine how bad Texas is going to be.” Needless to say, Khalifa was nervous when he arrived in Texas. He was bracing himself for the treatment that all of his friends from Saudi Arabia made sound imminent. Luckily, that treatment never came. From his first true encounter with Americans at the grocery store until now, Khalifa has been extremely impressed by how kind and understanding people have been here. He has hardly heard anything racist while he has been here. He assured me that when he gets back to Saudi Arabia, he will be sure to let everyone know how wrong they are about Texas and recommend it to anyone wanting to visit America. This part of our conversation touched me more than anything that we have talked about so far. Living in Texas for 18 years of my life, I couldn’t help but feel an enormous sense of pride. It was such a good feeling hearing about the hospitality that the south is known for in action.

There is one question that I’ve been pondering as a result of this conversation and I wanted to pose it to anyone who might have an opinion; is the language barrier purely based upon a person’s inability to speak the same language as those around him? Is it really as big of a deal as we make it out to be? Or with all of the nonverbal communication that humans use on a regular basis, as long as we are willing to put in effort, is the language barrier as small as we are willing to make it? 

McAlister's Adventure (Second Meeting with Khalifa)

I’ve had this blog entry sitting in word for over a week and completely forgot to post it. Sorry for the delay! My second meeting with Khalifa was on Monday October 1. We were supposed to meet at 6 at McAlister’s but he lost his keys so he wasn’t able to arrive until around 6:45. He was so apologetic and really felt awful for making me wait. I reassured him that it wasn’t a big deal and that I used the extra time to do a little bit of homework. Plus, I lose my keys at least twice a month so I assured him that it happens to everyone.

Once we got to McAlister’s I realized that he had absolutely no idea how or what to order. I felt really stupid for just assuming that he knew the menu and, the situation was made even more awkward because I forgot that because of his religion, he can’t eat anything that comes from a pig. This ruled out bacon and sausage which are seriously a part of over 50% of the items on the menu. Luckily, he loves potatoes so I told him that the grilled chicken spud would probably be a good choice. Being a stupid uneducated American, I proceeded to order a bacon spud without making the connection that I had just ordered something that was against his religion to eat. However, it was his time to reassure me, just because it’s against his religion doesn’t mean that I can’t eat it. I then made the connection that on Fridays during Lent when I can’t eat meat, my friends regularly order burgers and I’m not offended. So that’s how I justified it to myself and Khalifa agreed.

He loves our food and ever since he got here he has had a strong desire to try bacon and sausage because they look and smell so good. Up to this point, he has fought the urge valiantly. However, he did have an incident his first week here that we both found hilarious. He went out with some family members to a restaurant off of Hulen and ordered a dish that the server recommended. Halfway through his meal, he asked the server what the delicious meat was because he didn’t think he had ever tasted it before. “Oh that’s sausage,” the waiter replied. Khalifa’s jaw practically hit the table and so did his sister’s. Obviously, he was disappointed in himself but the meat was so delicious that he figured hey I already broke the rules why not at least finish my dish. But his sister was absolutely appalled and wouldn’t let him take another bite. And this is how Khalifa was accidentally introduced to sausage and he will never forget the experience. We both laughed hysterically throughout most of the story, which from my perspective was reassuring because we’ve all eaten foods we’re not supposed to eat before and it was an honest mistake, I didn’t want him to beat himself up over it. The whole ordering and no pig fiasco surely displayed the immense cultural differences between us but the fact that we were able to work through it and still enjoy our meal was a very cool experience. Plus, he loved his potato and said he would definitely come back to McAlister’s sometime soon so that made me feel like I accomplished something.

Once the conversation got a little more serious, he told me that he is adjusting well. He loves our food, especially the really spicy Mexican food because it’s somewhat similar to the food from Saudi Arabia. He has gotten even better at speaking and is approaching becoming a level 5. However, writing is still a major problem and he is still stuck on level 1. He talked in length about his frustrations with learning how to write and how he just can’t comprehend how everything is written so much differently than it sounds. He also brought up how he learns so much just from communicating with native English speakers. But, practicing speaking with native English speakers also adds to the difficulties of writing because a lot of the stuff we say is slang and shouldn't be used while writing. This started out as a very odd concept to him but he has gotten used to it.

Probably the saddest part of our conversation was when he stated that he might be moving to California. He admitted that it was a gorgeous state and that he would love to go there but his main reason for the move is because they have a better writing program for ESL students than we do. Apparently, we have an extremely good speaking program but we are really lacking when it comes to the writing aspects. His goal might be to move as soon as the end of this semester. My advice was “Hey, I don’t blame you. See as much of America as you can before you have to go back. California is gorgeous. You’ll love it.” I’m anxious to see at our next meeting if any major decisions regarding the move have been made.

He invited me to play soccer with him and some of his family after we ate dinner but regretfully I had a group meeting that I had to go to and wasn’t able to join them. Hopefully next time I’ll have the chance. During our next conversation, I hope to talk about cultural differences a lot more and hopefully this time they won’t be awkwardly thrust upon us as soon as we walk into a restaurant! 

Comic Relief Take Aways

First off, some good old honors college humor, because to ease the stresses of reading Morreall, everybody needs a good hearty laugh.

Now sadly, the serious stuff. Overall, I despised Comic Relief and had to fight through every page. However, Morreall did manage to present a few valid points.

1. The biggest take away that I got out of reading Comic Relief is that humor is good for your health. For years, people have told me that I don’t take life seriously and that life isn't one big joke and my rebuttal would be “well at least I won’t have ulcers when I’m older.” As it turns out, I just might have been right. From now on, I will be sure to use Morreall to validate my ever present sense of humor. After all, “the playful, imaginative attitude fostered by comedy not only feels better, but makes us healthier psychologically and physically.”  Laughter causes a reduction in “stress chemicals…muscle tension, blood pressure, and heart rate.” So, instead of taking a variety of pills to combat heart issues, just take a few minutes to joke around with friends or peruse funny pictures on the internet. After all, it’s good for your health!
2. The second take away that I got from Morreall is the concept of joke versus wit (this is one of the very few arguments that I agree with him 100% on). How many times have you heard an entire room get silent to listen to a joke and then, once the joke teller finishes, everyone looks at each other for a second and the room is overcome with awkward silence? On the other hand, how many times have you been out to dinner with friends where everyone is having a great conversation and then one of the friends responds to a question with an answer full of sarcasm or irony and the entire table bursts into laughter? This is the number one reason why I agree with Morreall on the issue of joke versus wit. “Joke telling interrupts a conversation” while wit enhances it. Instead of having to halt the conversation to listen to a joke that 95% of the time isn't funny, wit fits right in with the conversation and often enhances it.
3. The third take away that I got from Comic Relief, and probably the most pertinent to the class, is the idea of the cognitive shift. “A cognitive shift involves a set-up and a punch…which is what causes our thoughts and attitudes to change quickly.” I feel like a large majority of humor, whether it’s skits, jokes, movies, or online videos, utilizes the cognitive shift. When I think of humor, the first thing that comes to mind is stand-up comedians and they use this approach all the time. They always tell stories that they lead you to believe are going to end one way, and then at the very last second they hit you with an ending that you would have never expected. Sometimes, even if the outcome isn’t funny, you laugh purely because the outcome was so unexpected. Comedians and comic writers are true masters of the cognitive shift. I believe that the cognitive shift, the element of surprise, will be very helpful in providing insight as to what truly makes people laugh.

Even though I didn’t enjoy Morreall and felt like ever page was an absolute beating, there are clearly a few aspects that have some value and will be frequently applied to our exploration of what makes people laugh.

My Reaction to "Tips for Women" by Dave Barry

This piece was extremely witty, extremely amusing, extremely funny, and…extremely true. Honestly, I think Barry could have been going many different directions with this piece; he could have been satirizing women’s views of men or men’s views of women, he could have been satirizing what women want out of relationships or what men want out of relationships, he could have been satirizing relationships in general, or he could have been giving an honest male view of relationships in an extremely amusing and funny way. I interpreted his intent as the later. (And like Barry, I will give moderately satirical but very honest insight into a guys’ reaction to Barry’s piece).

Immediately, from the very first paragraph, I can tell that this is going to be a good read. I completely agree that the only “long-term, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship” that a women will be able to easily develop is with a dog. However, I feel like it’s a two way street and a guys’ perfect vision of a long-term relationship can also only be fulfilled by a dog. Think about it, guys want a relationship where they are worshipped and seen as king of land. They want a relationship where they can sit down and do things that they like to do with their significant other like watch sports, eat, and sleep. They want a relationship where things they say are taken at face value and not analyzed to death.

A dog will worship you, he’ll watch sports with you, eat with you, take a nap with you, or even sleep next to you. He will give you alone time when you need it and when you’re out with friends, he won’t constantly call and text you wondering what stupid thing you’re going to do next. When you say “walk” or “treat” he will want a walk or a treat, he’s not going to analyze what you might subconsciously mean by these words. But regardless, there’s one thing that’s 100% certain- he will be there waiting for you at the door when you get home letting you know that he has missed you tremendously and that his world is nothing without you. And likewise, as you are often forced to realize when you have to turn this long-term relationship into a long-distance relationship (aka going off to college) you realize that there is nobody that makes you happier than your dog.

Anyways, that’s enough about dogs being the ideal relationship partner. As Barry progresses, he talks about how women do the exact opposite of everything that I just said men love in a dog. They overthink everything, they never take anything at face value, and they always think you mean something more than what you do. When a boyfriend responds to “how’s your day been?” with “it’s been fine” that simply means his day has been fine. It doesn’t mean that he’s secretly mad at you for some outlandish reason and it surely doesn’t mean that he’s getting bored with your relationship. It simply means that he’s had on okay day.

On page 327 when Barry says that after a confusing conversation, a girl goes home and cries and talks to her friends and a guy “opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he has never heard of” he is 100% spot on (except maybe substitute video games for the tennis match but you get the point). There is nothing more spot on in this entire piece than when Barry states, “We’re not talking about different wavelengths here. We’re talking about different planets, in completely different solar systems.” I think both guys and girls can agree with this statement. Guys and girls simply communicate differently and desire very different things in a relationship. It might seem rather harsh, but I believe that Barry’s ant analogy on page 328 pretty much sums up how guys view relationships and oftentimes this is what gets them in the most trouble. How many times have you heard about a girl being really mad at a guy and the guy has no idea what he did wrong?! Thousands if not millions.

Finally, Barry gets to my absolute favorite part of the piece, the three tips that every women should remember if she wants to have a successful relationship with a guy. Number one-“never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship”- is completely true. Even if you have been casually seeing each other for months and the girl thinks it is understood that you’re mutually exclusive…it’s not! Why do you think it’s always the girls making a relationship FBO and guys are so hesitant to accept the request? It’s because it is truly a shock to the guy that he could ever be in a relationship.

Then, there is number two which is the truest of all- “Do not expect a guy to make a hasty commitment.” He then states “by hasty I mean within your lifetime.” This is also 100% true and his KC Royals example really brings the point home. As a huge hockey fan, am completely devoted to the Dallas Stars. Regardless of how many of my favorite players they trade away, regardless of how many games they lose or playoffs they miss, or how much they disappoint me, I am completely devoted to them. Devotion to women will never rival a man’s lifelong commitment to a sports team. Women absolutely hate this and it drives them nuts but don’t stress about it because you’re not going to change it. Period. Barry’s main point for number two is something that not many guys are brave enough to say but every guy, in a relationship or not, knows is true; guys are scared of commitment because they are scared of missing out. It might seem like a stretch that every guy’s greatest fear regarding commitment is that he’s going to miss out on joining several naked international fashion models in a hot tub but, this exact fear is present in a vast majority of guys.  

And finally number three- “don’t make the guy feel threatened.” Basically anything will make a guy feel threated, especially a sense of obligation, so just leave us to our sports and dogs and the world will be a much less confusing place.

First Meeting with Khalifa

On Friday, I had my first meeting with Khalifa. Right off of the bat, I could tell we were about the same age so we shook hands and introduced ourselves. He is 19 years old and from Saudi Arabia. He is here with his sister and cousin. In the ESL program, he is a level 4 in speaking and a level 1 in writing. I was really curious about this huge discrepancy and he explained that writing in English is so much harder than other languages because things aren’t written how they sound. I jokingly responded, “that’s why we have autocorrect” and we both shared a brief laugh.

He then went on to say that he has only been here for going on 9 months and I was shocked because I thought his English was rather impressive for being here for less than a year. However, he was much harder on himself. He really wants to be able to speak English like native English speakers. The one thing that he said that I think shocked me the most is that he really wants a job, not for the money, but because having a job would force him to communicate with people and help him learn the language. He’s extremely frustrated by the job market in Fort Worth. He is also having a very hard time getting a SSN and said that if he were to get a job, he would be given one which is another incentive for him to find work. Since he was having such a hard time, I told him that I would look into it and see if I could find any possibilities for him before we meet next. 

The other thing that really shocked me is that he’s lost weight since coming here. Usually you hear about people coming to America and gaining tons of weight and this was definitely not the case for Khalifa. He showed me a picture of him when he first got here almost 9 months ago and it was one of the times that we really had a good laugh during our conversation. 

He really seems to be embracing the American culture and really wants to master the language so that he can fit in better. He went to the Blake Shelton concert and had a great time. He loved all of the girls in dresses and cowboy boots (this was another topic that we had a good laugh about). He has taken a liking to country music but said that they talk so fast that he can only comprehend about half of what they are saying. But regardless, it was definitely a good experience. He was also extremely excited for our first football game.

He isn’t allowed to have a girlfriend while he’s here and if he does, his sister will tell his mom and he will have to come home. Right now he is much more interested in just making friends and learning how to communicate. 

I asked him if he had been back to Saudi Arabia yet and he said no. He doesn’t really have a desire to go home especially since the flight takes 21 hours. After he is here for nine months, the Saudi Arabian government will pay for his plane ticket home. They also pay for him to come here and learn English which I found odd just because anytime American students study oversees we have to pay a majority of the costs. If anything, our universities help us out, not our government. 

One other thing he really disliked about TCU is the parking situation and I told him that he definitely wasn’t alone in that regard. He said that parking is very confusing and he has already gotten three parking tickets. I told him not to worry; he probably follows the parking rules better than people who have lived here their entire lives. 

Overall, I had a very good first meeting with Khalifa. He expressed a strong desire to meet again sometime soon and wants me to come over to his house sometime to try Arabic food. The meeting really showed me that there is a lot for both of us to learn from meeting together. One of the things that I am most interested in observing throughout our meetings is if there are large discrepancies between the English that he is taught in class and conversational English that he will hear most of the students in the area use.

What is Humor?

Interviews: What is humor? What makes you laugh?

Humor is anything that makes you laugh.
Other people's embarrassing mistakes make me laugh (ex- a lady walked into my meeting this morning and sat down and then realized it was the wrong meeting. Once she laughed we all cracked up). Also, corny jokes make me laugh.

Humor is a trait that someone can have to make other people laugh.
People with funny facial expressions make me laugh. Comedians make me laugh, especially the inappropriate ones. Politicians also make me laugh, especially the ones who make promises, don't follow through, and then make the same promises four years later.

Humor is anything that's funny.
Sarcasm makes me laugh. I also laugh at my own jokes a lot. I think I'm hilarious.

Humor is what makes life enjoyable. If you don't have a sense of humor you're not fun to be around.
Other people's physical pain makes me laugh. Like the stuff on Tosh.0, I can't watch that show without laughing. Also, my test grades tend to make me laugh sometimes because they're so bad. You know what they say, if you're not laughing you're not living.

What is Literature and Civilization?

These were videos. I uploaded them and everything. Then I found out that my speaker on my phone is broken so the videos won’t do much good. So here are the interviews written out…

Interview 1

What is Literature?

Anything in written form such as books or maybe movie scripts and music and stuff

What is civilization?

Anything having to do with the culture of people living in the same area or social developments

How do they relate?

Civilization is the evolvement of human interaction so in order to have that happen you need literature

Interview 2

What is literature?

The written way that people express and their ideals no matter how abstract so that they can fulfill their desire to find themselves

What is civilization?

A group of people who come together around common goals or common laws or rules to accomplish the simple task of survival

How do they relate?

Literature is what arises as a way for you to describe your civilization

Interview 3

What is literature?

The study of old time English such as poets and Shakespeare

What is civilization?

Humans populating the earth. Wherever there are concentrations of people there is a civilization such as the Mayans and Aztecs

How do they relate?

To build your civilization you have to understand literature and the language of the times so that everyone can communicate and understand each other

Interview 4

What is literature?

Hmm what is literature. Obviously writing. It’s a pretty modern kind of thing. It’s the writing of different cultures mainly for entertainment or to get a message across so it’s not just writing in itself  because say I’m taking notes in class, I wouldn’t count that as literature but the notes that I’m taking on books, the Iliad, To Kill a Mockingbird, Holes, those are literature. Those are good books. So yah I’d say anything like inspirational kind of stuff that’s literature. Mainly books. I would say books.

What is civilization?

Civilization, that’s a tough one. I’d say civilization started when people stayed in one spot. Because before, I’ll give you a little history lesson, before, they would follow their animals, so they wouldn’t stay in one spot. I wouldn’t count that as civilization because they didn’t leave any records or anything like that. So I would say civilization is maybe a city, a bunch of people working together, a permanent location. That’s what I would say civilization is.

How do they relate?

Wow. That’s a trick question I did not see that one coming. Ok, civilization so as you have different literatures in different cultures and different styles and stuff, you can see how they would be different just by looking at their civilization see. Say like one civilization in South America, their entire civilization effects their literature. So I would say the connection is that literature really depends on where and what kind of area you live in and who you live with. Because a lot of say literature is religious and different civilizations have different religions. Some civilizations have different laws for different people so maybe some people couldn’t read literature in some civilizations and others could. So really it’s all one in the same literature and civilization.